Man of the wind, my Ageha
Who in seeing sees from one
A jewel of grey as owl’s wing
From shoulder to skies above
–
His beauty clad in nomad’s blue
Of the hearts without hearths
He speaks as cruel as he is kind
For his gaze goes sweeping far
–
He with his splendid, silky halo
A veil bright as summer sun
He has known chains, my Ageha
And his smile is brittle-spun
–
Still he bends strong and fine
Winter fox in gauze and gold
A magnet in the fire’s glow
His secrets held untold
–
And in knowing of his end
He is not mine to touch or sway
Man of the wind, my Ageha
On the wind carried away.
–
© 2012 Elizabeth Cook
Serial Outlet 
Thank you! What a treat…. 🙂 Your gifts are precious thank you for sharing them!
I’m really glad you enjoyed it! Afraid I was inspired by someone else’s story, but hopefully this tidbit is all right. And thank you for reading and commenting so often – if I may ask, is there anything you think that I am doing well or that I should change?
I love your form and ways of expression, you have a gift whether learned or natural at least in my eye’s. I comment as I am inspired to do so, therefore I must truly appreciate your works, as far as changing anything well everything changes naturally and as you just noted you were inspired by the story of another, from that you shared your version from your heart. Why change something that is a gift within you it evolves on its own you have the gift use it as you do and enrich our lives with your heart and your love shared. I am flattered that you choose to ask me such a question and at the same time honored. I am just a simple man that appreciates beauty in all its forms. Thank you for the honor and know that my words are from the heart and shared with love. It is obvious you love to write and express yourself very beautifully keep doing what you love and I look forward to the love you share.
Thank you very much for your compliments and feedback. I knew that you were a dedicated reader and you seemed like a good person to ask! Our lives can always do with more beauty and love, which your comment certainly adds to. I’ll try to keep doing what I am doing – good luck blogging to you, too!
This is very good indeed. Amazing how, when used like this, the Internet and blogs can actually bring people together.
Thank you very much! As I said above I did borrow inspiration, and I found that on the internet too 🙂 I think we are so lucky to live in this day and age
Lily,
A very powerful poem! “A jewel of grey as owl’s wing/From shoulder to skies above” is incredibly powerful and evocative. Fare took my breath away…
One question to make sure I am reading it correctly. How does one pronounce “Ageha”? I assume you are not referring to the Tokyo bar or Japanese fashion magazine? 😉
john
Thank you! To be honest, I am not sure. It is a Japanese name but I read it as an English translation, and I have been wondering about which Japanese characters (and what pronunciation) it might use. In the meantime I just read it phonetically
I can’t claim credit for this, my boyfriend kindly did the research, but Ageha is pronounced as we would expect from reading it. It loosely means swallowtail butterfly, and in hirigana it is あげは, while in katakana it is アゲハ
I read it as Ah-ge-ha, but, with all those vowels, it could also be, Ag-e-ha or even, Age-ha.
Swallowtail butterfly…interesting.
If your poem is like the original, I can almost see a Japanese version of the Indian diety, Shiva, the Destroyer of Worlds.
john
Hmm good point, I’ve been reading it as Ah-ge-ha 🙂 I’m afraid your vision is more exciting than the original – he might have verged upon supernatural, but in the end he was only human and died after all.
I’m almost afraid to say this. I have no idea what or who Ageha is, but the poem reminds me of Jesus. I guess poetry is about each reader’s interpretation. It means something different for everyone no matter what the inspiration was. It’s beautiful by the way. Graceful and flowing, yet strong and powerful too.
I don’t think you should be afraid to say it! I may not be religious but from this poem now I can see the kind of parallels you must be thinking of, and seeing another point of view is always interesting 🙂 Thank you very much!
You’re welcome…and thank you.
This is nothing short of brilliant, Lily. The metre, rhyme, rythm, and the imagery are perfectly presented. Beautiful !!!
Paul
That’s very nice of you, since I only wrote it last night I was hesitant about posting – as I will undoubtedly keep tweaking it. I think everything in your comment should be said of your poem, ‘Riches’! It is so sweet 🙂
lly,
Thanks for the very generous comment about “Riches”. In its origin it was much as you speak about this piece – and after much “tweaking” I left it in a notebook for a long time. Once you are satisfied with something, don’t hesitate, just let it take wing. You’re a very good writer and have a real grasp of the tools that make a good poem or story.
Paul
It was my pleasure, I loved reading it. I’d actually like to start doing a re-blog every Thursday, and maybe I could re-blog it next week? You make me feel much more confident – thank you 🙂
Of course you could reblog it…, or anything else on my site. As to the confidence, that was all you. I just pointed the way.
Paul
Elizabeth, this is a wonderful piece. It brought me there and kept me there. That is the mark of a true writer, and true you are. I look forward to your next poem. 🙂 Eric
Thank you so much 🙂 I am really glad I found WordPress, otherwise the poems would just be bytes on my hard drive
We are glad that you found wordpress, too. Our world would be less without you. E
Well I don’t know about that, but thanks again 😀
Beautiful words. Great talent.
Thank you for reading and commenting! I’m glad you liked it 🙂
Beautiful expressions and imagery. You’ve got some great lines in there “And his smile is brittle-spun” and “of the hearts without hearths”. Very nicely done 🙂
Thank you! I really appreciate it when people tell me which lines stood out 🙂
I, too enjoyed Ageha and especially the line “And his smile is brittle-spun” Thank you.
Thank you! I really appreciate you reading and commenting 🙂
Hi I read your poem. Wow, it does seem the same, no?!:) I wrote “Ice King” for my boyfriend who during that week was distant with me. I wrote what I was feeling at the time because I was feeling low- poems are my emotional outlet sometimes.
I like this poem and this one stanza is really him:
“Still he bends strong and fine
Winter fox in gauze and gold
Irresistible in dance of death
His fury awful to behold”
😀 Write some more! 😀
Yeah it was neat to see the similarities 🙂 That may be my favourite stanza. I wrote this about a character in a story whose tragic end really got to me – I think I’ll be writing more like this as long as I keep reading such stories!
Thanks so much for your kind comment!
Have read many of your poems & like very much reading your particular style, individualistic & contemporary with attractive, appealing, archaic undertones; nice work…
Thank you so much for that compliment, I’m really glad that you like the style!
Lily