Daily Prompt: Childhood Revisited


I wish that in my childhood I had not lost my best friend – in such a way that the blame is to be laid upon both of us.

The first time I saw someone make a post in the form of a letter I felt compelled to write the following letter for my own benefit, since there would be no point in sending it.

To send it, now, would be strange.

 

Hi,

You’re not busy on Friday night, are you? Just checking- I knew you wouldn’t be. So we will find ourselves on the phone in front of our separate televisions once again.

I think your phone is cordless and you could be sitting anywhere, but ours is the dumb old kind (not that I would say that aloud. Aloud, it is a phone that I love for being in our family as long as I can remember) and I’ll sit on the floor because its cord doesn’t reach the couch. Did you know this will become a sensation I remember well? Switching arms as they get tired, the phone pressing first on one ear and then the other, my bum and my knees getting sore so that I’m one mass of fidgets.

Did you know, that later I won’t be able to remember how much we actually spoke while we watched our Friday night cartoons? I’ll think a bit and then assume we hardly said a thing, because we had to read the subtitles as we went, and although I have become someone who exclaims during shows I don’t remember being that way six years ago.

Yet I did, and still do, cry easily at sad scenes. Did you know, there were a few times when I was crying on the other end of the phone? I was worried you would notice and tease me.

Because I think we both knew on some level that those shows were mostly silliness. Still, you told me about them, and we both happened to like them, as we happened to like a lot of similar things. We did well working on homework together, too. Anyway, I made damn sure my family wasn’t around to interrupt our Friday night cartoons.

Those were our best phone calls. Thanks, and miss you.

 

If I ever have children I want to explain a few things that my parents never did. The fragility of egos and friendships in high school, the utility in looking at yourself objectively now and then, the importance of honesty as greater than the importance of kind lies.

Maybe, if those hypothetical children actually listen to me, they will emerge from high school without any guilt from a falling-out. It’s been years but I still often regret my mistakes.

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19 comments

  1. “Fragility of ego”–that’s an accurate read of teens & tweens. If people realized how much damage a little statement could do at that age, would we be more careful? I hope so. I think that those years are painful to an extent to everyone. It’s just a shame that it often takes the loss of a potentially valuable friendship before it’s realized.

  2. All part of life’s ongoing learning process, Lily. I still have some childhood friends, others, for whatever reasons, just cut ties and drifted away. Good night, darlin’ girl.
    Paul

    1. I suppose so! It’s just such a pity, since we had very similar interests, and I wanted to remain friends. Anyway, goodnight to you too! Thanks as ever for your visits and kind comments 🙂

      Lily

  3. They say friends come into our life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. Sometimes who we think will be lifetime friends are there only for the season of our need. Look back fondly instead of regret.
    Keep loving,
    Rose

    1. Maybe the reason was so that I could learn this particular lesson. The trouble is, looking back fondly reminds me of what I can no longer enjoy; those nights of cartoons, and reading the same books, meant a lot!

      Thank you,
      Lily

  4. Interesting piece- reading this felt familiar… and then i remembered that I used to have a friend just like this. we also spent a lot of time talking on the phone- while we watched TV, read magazines, etc. etc. And I too, lost that friend. Something my parents neglected to teach me was also the fragility of friendships and relationships.

    1. It’s funny that something similar happened to both of us. To this day I don’t think that I was careful or confident enough to deal with what happened properly! I wish I had been

      Thanks for visiting 🙂

      Lily

      1. Yea… it actually happened to me a couple of times from elementary school to high school. and i wonder why i never learned from the other times- still mind boggling to me but i think i understand it all better now. It may feel like it’s OUR fault, but the other person has a part in what happened too. So… we can’t really blame ourselves completely. through these experiences, i think we learn about ourselves and about the world around us 🙂

        1. Ohh that’s too bad. Mind-boggling indeed, and it would have been so helpful if I had some of my understanding now, back then. I’m ashamed of how I dealt with things but you are right, it takes two.

          Blaming ourselves alone won’t help anything now, anyways! I certainly learned lots.

          Lily

  5. I lost 4 good friends in high school when they died. One on a hunting accident, one by suicide and two in a car accident . I’ve had dreams about them in the past. Never thought to put anything down on paper or write them letters. Well done.

    1. I am very sad to hear that. This ex-friend and I are merely estranged. I hope that if you write letters to your lost friends, you find something good in them as I found in mine.

      We did have fun, all that time ago.

      Lily

  6. And now for my sweet Lily (aka Elizabeth)…
    You have been nominated for the 2013 Most Influential Blog Award.
    Please come to pjb1943.wordpress.com to accept this honor. Each person nominated deserves it for your everyday contributions to making life in our world a better place. Please accept my thanks for being such wonderful friends.
    ~Paul~

    1. Thank you so much, Paul, I’d be very glad to accept this! I’ll be over soon to check out the post, and what other wonderful bloggers you have nominated 🙂

      Lily

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